96245

Joke of the Day

"*Shakespeare resetting his password* ""Enter new password."" Fortnight ""Your password is two weeks."""

"[shines flashlight under chin] In my day, kids ate gluten and rode bikes without helmets and OPEN LETTERS DIDN'T EXIST [children scream]"

"How did Jesus get so ripped? By doing Crossfit"

"Negative people There is a special place for all the negative people in the universe. It's called the 3rd Quadrant."

"A woman grows a plant in a blossoming business as a CEO."

"Apple is developing an iPhone that pregnant women can swallow so fetuses can go online since they have nothing else to do in there."

"Why can't you trust a Lithium Ion battery? Because they're always Li-ion!"

"I had a dream that a priest took a dump on my front lawn holy shit"

"What does a lawyer and a prostitute have in common? They both fuck you for your money."

"OCD My little cousin has been diagnosed with an unusual case of OCD where all he does all day is organise dinner plates by the year they were made, It's an extremely rare dish-order........"