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Joke of the Day

"So a skeleton walks into a bar... and asks for a beer and a mop"

"I gotta hand it to Stephen Hawking because he can't catch."

"I changed my major from being an actuary. I just couldn't handle the risk."

"The first time I used an elevator it was really uplifting Then it brought me down"

"now when we see rotten food we think ""we should throw this out"" but in the past, they'd be like ""are there any shitty concerts coming up?"""

"Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ? A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too."

"How does an Arab farmer find his goat in the sand dunes? Very satisfying."

"i found out how to kill vegetarian vampires a steak to the heart"

"I went to see a Topless Ventriloquist last weekend. She was awesome. I didn't see her lips move once."

"Texas. Where the vegan menu item is chicken."