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Joke of the Day

"Father wakes up his son and asks him a question. What has 4 legs and isn't alive? It's a chair dad... Why are you bothering me with this?! No Jimmy, it's your dog..."

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"What did the Mexican fire chief name his two sons? Jose and Josb"
"What do American beer and sex on a boat have in common? Both are fucking close to water."
"They should make another Taken movie, about Liam Neeson's character being under-appreciated for trying to keep his family safe. ""Taken 4: Granted"""
"What do you call a cow that's had an abortion? Decalfinated"
"Adam Sandler"
"Yesterday my wife caught me checking out our hot new neighbor and all she had to say to me was, ""It doesn't matter where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home""."
"What does r/jokes have in common with Amy Schumer Most of these joke aren't original."
"Mom: Time to wake updog. Son: *groggily* What's updog? Mom: Just waking you up for school, dog, what's up wit u? Dad (from hallway): OWNED"
"When I get naked in the bathroom... the shower gets turned on."