82543

Joke of the Day

"Father wakes up his son and asks him a question. What has 4 legs and isn't alive? It's a chair dad... Why are you bothering me with this?! No Jimmy, it's your dog..."

"Why did the rap battle champion get the most spacious and accessible seat on the bus? Because of his dis-ability."

"What do you call it when the robot from Futurama gets in a minor car accident while wearing a dress? A gender bender Bender fender bender."

"Honey, your skirt is so short that your STD is showing."

"Women always say they want security... When I'm around."

"Have you heard the joke about the blind man who picked up a hammer and saw?"

"I invented a new word: *Zygorepostalgia* It's the feeling you get when you see the same joke reposted more than once in the same day and realize it wasn't funny the first time either."

"What is the difference between an arrested public masturbator and a period? The period comes after the sentence."

"An iPhone user walks into... [x-post r/funny] a bar, a hotel, a field. He's not too sure"

"I like musical dramas. They really strike a chord with me."