1935

Joke of the Day

"Women always say they want security... When I'm around."

"Q: How many London taxi drivers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: What ? Go all the way up there and come back empty ? You must be jokin' mate !"

"I was in an Arby's bathroom taking a leak and the urinal cake fell to the floor but it was there for less than 5 seconds so I still ate it."

"'Knock Knock.' 'Who's there?' The pilot."

"I don't need to be rich, it would just be nice to live in a neighborhood where I could be confident that that noise was definitely fireworks"

"A German tourist walks into a pie shop on Fleet Street in London And tells the lady behind the counter, ""I would like to become a pie."" And so he did."

"""Boy, when I was your age I used to walk fifteen miles to school."" ""Oh, is that why you didn't graduate"""

"What do you call a midget psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large."

"There are two types of people in the world: 1) Those that can be arsed to finish their jokes."

"I can move things with my mind. Like, my arms."