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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between an arrested public masturbator and a period? The period comes after the sentence."

"Great joke I heard at a standup show in Houston this weekend. (Dark humor) Give a man a fish, and he you will feed him for the day. Give a man two prosthetic legs, and he'll shoot his girlfriend."

"Have you ever played the game of pocket tennis? ..it's when you like keeping your hands in your pocket, when you have holes in them and you're not wearing any underwear."

"Two fish in a tank... ...one turns to the other and says, ""how do you drive this thing?"""

"What goes ""Tick Tock, woof woof""? A watchdog."

"I was thinking of joining the Hug-A-Cactus foundation but I hear they deal with alot of pricks."

"What do snakes take to combat their allergies? Anti-hissss-tamines!"

"I still remember when mom used to tuck me in as a kid Man she really wanted a daughter"

"Before Batgirl can become Batwoman she has to have a Batmitzvah."

"Did you hear about the guy whose bank closed his account because he dropped his bowl of cereal? All his Chex bounced."