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Joke of the Day

"I just deleted all the German names from my phone's contacts. Now it's hans free."

"About a months ago I started to learn how to speak French. But then I gave up."

"Women do not want to hear what you think..nnThey want to hear what they think..nnIn a deeper voice......"

"Why are chefs the meanest? Because they beat the eggs and whip the cream"

"I seared steaks in our home without adequate ventilation. Now there's a delightful and very visible meat cloud hanging over us."

"Need help with a joke!!! Not sure if this is allowed, but I need a joke that involves the word ""statesmen"" for a contest with my friends. Please help!"

"One pirate kicks a second pirate in the knee... The second pirate says ""Arr!! Me knee!"" (meanie)"

"kid theres no such thing as bad publicity. like you would think if a big article came out saying you suck shit it would be bad, but its good"

"The Dentist says, ""When was the last time you flossed?"" The Patient replies, ""You should know, you were there!"" Heard this at the dentist this morning"

"I put the STD in ""STUD"" ... all I need is ""U"""