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Joke of the Day

"When you're dead, you have no idea you're dead. It's only difficult for other people..... Much the same as when you're stupid....."

"Did you hear about the incest convention? Every mother-fucker was there!"

"I get all my cardio from sex.... That's why I'm so fat."

"Q: Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? A: They all have phones."

"What did the masturbator say when returning the porn that his friend let him borrow? [OC] Thanks, came in handy!"

"How did the black guy get his pilot's license? He went to flight school, you racist bastards."

"You know how I just broke this huge cookie in half and put the other half away like I wasn't going to eat it? That was funny."

"Asian's pets Asian's eyes don't water when their pets die, their mouths do."

"I could've built a school in Africa with the amount of time I've spent uncapitalizing letters in texts to seem cool."

"A ham sandwich walks into a bar. Sits down. The bartender comes over and the ham sandwich says: > I'd like a triple of bourbon, neat. Bartender says: > I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."