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Joke of the Day

"I could've built a school in Africa with the amount of time I've spent uncapitalizing letters in texts to seem cool."

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day Teach him to fish and you get rid of him during weekends."

"What band does Santa listen to while delivering presents? Slayer."

"Heidi Klum was waiting for a call from Donald Trump She never got it.. His phone was only 99.99% charged so he couldn't do it."

"What do gay cows eat? Haaaaayyyy(gay voice)"

"Call me maybe by Carly Rae Jepson is possibly the catchiest song I've ever heard lol"

"Self is a word in Itself."

"Homeless guy walking by this bar patio looked at me and said ""I'm your future,"" and I was like ""Sweet, we have a cool beard."""

"What's the difference between Bill Cosby and a Snickers Bar? One wants you to put their chocolatey nutty goodness in your mouth, and the other is a child rapist."

"What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck ? A duck filled fatty puss !"