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Joke of the Day

"You know how I just broke this huge cookie in half and put the other half away like I wasn't going to eat it? That was funny."

"A Roman walks into a bar Holds up two fingers and says five beers please."

"I went for a job interview. The bloke asked, ""Where do you see yourself in 10 yrs time?"" ""Same as now - in photos and mirrors,"" I replied"

"Are you nerd ? Yesterday at social get together I was explaining to my friend how android is better than iOS in many respect. A girl in group says, ""Are you that cool nerd guy?"" I replied, ""Yum"""

"Me: [uncontrollable sobbing] I can't see you anymore. I won't let you hurt me again. Trainer: It was a sit-up. You did 1 sit-up."

"Grandma's not dead... ... she just stored in the cloud now."

"*notices it's not even 8am*nn*been tweeting like a boss...*nn*...to 5 insomniacs*"

"What did the dog say after a hard day at work ? ""Today sure was ruff"" Read that today on my university's art wall and made me smile a bit , thought i'd share it :P"

"What's the difference between bruce banner and bruce jenner? One turned into a terrifying monster, the other is an avenger."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, you go get it"