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Joke of the Day

"A ham sandwich walks into a bar. Sits down. The bartender comes over and the ham sandwich says: > I'd like a triple of bourbon, neat. Bartender says: > I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."

"""You're either going to love me or hate me."" - someone you will definitely hate"

"A will is a dead giveaway."

"I will base my art on something deeply personalfrom my childhood *childhood was full of mass-market products* *everyone had same childhood*"

"*Sexist Warning* ""Why is it called a waist?"" Because you can easily fit another pair of tits on there"

"What do you call a camel with no humps??? Humphrey"

"Why women fail at saving money? Have you ever seen a money-box (piggy bank) with a hole at the bottom..."

"[Friend opens Christmas present] Me: It's a lie detector Friend: Oh... I love it Me: (whispering) we'll see"

"Have a drink My friend told me to get a beer as I looked like I had a rough day. I looked at him and said ""With your face, you must be an alcoholic."""

"I was walking down the street one day and saw a young black man carrying a bike... And thought to myself ""is that mine?"" Then I remembered no. Mine's at home doing the dishes."