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Joke of the Day

"befor they had dog cops they tried cat cops but the cats kept meowing at the policemans durimg the stakeouts"

"Men and hookers Why do men always pick the hooker that costs tens of thousands of dollars over the far sexier hooker which costs two dollars? Because prostitution is looked down upon."

"My fiancee doesn't think jokes about drone strikes are funny. Personally I find them Hillaryous."

"Shaving with a straight razor takes a lot of courage. I used to shave my privates with one But I don't have the balls to do that anymore."

"My Sergeant told us to ""fire at will""... It's kind of a shame. I liked that guy."

"What do internet pirates have on their legs? j.pegs"

"What do two owl brothers say when they are carrying something? To me, to hoo."

"To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office Just know that I will find you. You have my Word."

"Words can't even describe how beautiful you are. But numbers can, 3/10."

"What did Abraham Lincoln say after recovering from a 3-day drinking binge? *""I set* ***who*** *free?""*"