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Joke of the Day
"What do two owl brothers say when they are carrying something? To me, to hoo."
Next Joke
"They say that blondes are dumb, but I've gotten a brunette to marry me too."
"What did the DNA say to the mRNA? ""I'm better without U."""
"It's been so hot lately, so I finally got a new AC... and i nicknamed it DIRK cuz it's so clutch against the heat."
"I was just about to go and remind my neighbour to slam all of his car doors as many times as possible in five minutes, but there's no need."
"Hi..You've reached my voicemail. I could come to the phone right now but I saw your name on caller ID so leave a message..or not."
"My License to Kill was revoked due to abuse of power."
"Next update: Twitter will tell you what the retweeter is feeling as they retweet your retweet. And what they had for breakfast."
"A dyslexic, agnostic insomniac lay awake all night wondering if there is a dog. EDIT: Credit to David Foster Wallace."
"What did Helen Keller say when she fell into the snow? Nothing, she was wearing mittens."