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Joke of the Day

"""Can I get you to-"" YES! ""Great! Here it-"" I'LL DO IT! ""Don't you want to-"" MAKE THE CHECK OUT TO... - Adam Sandler being handed a script"

"A jewish man with a boner runs into a wall He broke his nose"

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat the room because it's black."

"[@ Sunbeam Bread factory job interview] Boss: Your resume says you are ""definitely not 3 ducks in a suit."" 3 Ducks In A Suit: That's correct"

"What do you call a French boy wearing Sandals? Phillipe Phillope Friends and I thought of this in French class today."

"Did you know the inventor of the vibrator heard voices saying... ""If you build it, they will come."""

"Art Teacher: your drawings are due tomorrow me: [hours later] maybe add in some grapes police sketch artist: ..a bowl of fruit attacked you?"

"What does Mario wear? Denim denim denim"

"Smokey the Bear just told me that only *I* could prevent forest fires. This is a lot of pressure, people."

"What do you call a bear that swings both ways? Bi-polar"