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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb."
Next Joke
"The kid who would burn his marshmallow to a blackened crisp and say ""this is how I like it!"" is in prison now"
"Another ""Priceless"" joke. Vodka 19.99. Motel room 64.99. Condoms 9.99. Finding out she swallows and likes it in the ass? Priceless! Fuck Mastercard, it pays to Discover"
"Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Yes"
"Jared's favorite dressing on his Subway sandwich is Neverland Ranch. I'm sorry."
"[cat support technician] Me: So you're here to fix my computer? Cat: *nods* Me: Great, here it is. Cat: *lays on keyboard & falls asleep*"
"There are actually only two stages of parenthood: having children, and having children who can reach things on countertops."
"The first person to ride a horse was probably pretty fucking drunk."
"What's the difference between a rectal and an oral thermometer? The taste."
"Q: What do you call a weapon used by a Canadian ninja? A: Canuck-chucks."