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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a rectal and an oral thermometer? The taste."

"Be careful - too much sex can result in a balled spot."

"I did some research to study if women like to use soap or body wash when they shower. 100% of them didn't like me watching them while they bathed."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom? The ""p"" is silent."

"How does Jerry Seinfeld play ice hockey? With his Shtick."

"I'm addicted to brake fluid. But I can stop any time."

"Two parrots are sitting on a perch. The first one says to the other ""can you smell fish?""."

"[watches you eat my bday cake] ""I've poisoned that."" ""Haha very [clasps chest & begins panting] w-with what?"" [leans in & winks] ""Poison."""

"There's a new video subscription service in Russia called Nyetflix But the rental period is too short so you're always Russian!"

"The room is 15$ a night. Innkeeper: The room is $15 a night. It's $5 if you make your own bed. Guest: I'll make my own bed. Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."