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Joke of the Day

"Jared's favorite dressing on his Subway sandwich is Neverland Ranch. I'm sorry."

"Whoever decided on spelling ""biscuit"" really needs to get their shuit together."

"Misfortune Cookie After finishing our Chinese food, my husband and I cracked open our fortune cookies. Mine read, ""Be quiet for a little while."" His read, ""Talk while you have a chance."""

"5 scientists out of 6 say that russian roulette is safe"

"It's rude when people ask me what I did all day like growing my hair isn't enough."

"What's the difference between a preschool and a terrorist training camp? Don't ask me...I just fly the drones!"

"Accidentally got a ""male"" order bride and I was gonna return him but Sergei is just so good with my kids"

"I said ""Candyman"" 5 times into the bathroom mirror and sure enough some woman came out of the stall and screamed at me for being in there."

"What did the turkey say when he accidentally bumped into the president? Pardon me."

"What did A and B look for at the beach? A ""C"" gull!"