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Joke of the Day

"Another ""Priceless"" joke. Vodka 19.99. Motel room 64.99. Condoms 9.99. Finding out she swallows and likes it in the ass? Priceless! Fuck Mastercard, it pays to Discover"

"wife: You're going to work like that? me: Yeah, it's casual day [20 minutes later] *calls wife* me: Can you bring me a shirt?"

"Why does Waldo wear stripes? He doesn't want to be spotted"

"I used to worry about offending people's moms on facebook but now they all post memes like ""I chug vodka to keep from drowning my children"""

"What did the baby seal order for lunch? The club sandwich."

"Do you know why Kim Jong Un executes everyone he doesn't like? Because he doesn't have a Seoul."

"Q: What is the clumsiest bee? A: A bumbling bee."

"It all... The title says it all."

"Why is there a sudden influx of vacuum jokes? They really suck"

"If you come home after work and your wife greets you saying she got a massive pay raise from her boss at work, remember to not kiss her on the lips."