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Joke of the Day

"There are actually only two stages of parenthood: having children, and having children who can reach things on countertops."

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef"

"A skeleton walks into a bar... And says ""gimme a beer and a mop."""

"What did King Midas say to the centaur? Stay gold, Ponyboy."

"I'm guessing that most people who claim to ""count calories"" are really bad at math."

"Diarrhea is hereditary In runs in the jeans"

"What's the similarity between a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist? They both work with crust."

"Q: Whats the difference between a 90s woman and a - computer? A: A 90s woman won't accept a three-and-a-half-inch floppy."

"(boom boom clap) (boom boom clap) Daisy you're a dog you're a good dog Playing in the park Gonna eat some cool bugs today"

"I caught my insane ex going through my garbage, but I guess that's what I get for dating a raccoon."