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Joke of the Day

"There are actually only two stages of parenthood: having children, and having children who can reach things on countertops."

Next Joke
 
"My little girl loves helping me when I'm doing the cooking, because I always let her lick the spoon. The sooner she's old enough to buy her own heroin, the better."
"Who's in charge of all the liquid measurements? The liter."
"Why did the Ferguson protesters go home early last night? The whole thing was a gas."
"I flunked out of clown college due to taking it too seriously."
"I can't believe Lou Gehrig's parents named him after a DISEASE"
"What did God say after creating man? I must be able to do better than that."
"Hideous monsters for sale! Selling cheap! Crazy wild beasts! Won't last long! ""Honey, stop trying to sell the kids."""
"What is both a short shopping list, and a potential Chinese luxury automobile? * Rolls * Rice"
"Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year."
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