81947

Joke of the Day

"What's long and hard and full of semen? A submarine."

"The 2 Golden Rules of Religion 1) Be kind to other people. 2) KILL THE FILTHY INFIDELS!!!!"

"if you're in a sports bar but don't understand sports just keep repeating the phrase ""damn they gotta get him the ball."" everyone will agree"

"I said ""Hi"" to a feminist. The trial is scheduled for tomorrow"

"Q: How many retarded Italian gardeners does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One but don't expect results."

"What do you get when you cross two thieves with a carpenter ... Good Friday!!!"

"Kids these days think Christmas is all about getting presents instead of celebrating the birth of Santa Claus."

"How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face. A joke from a 3 year old who thought it was hilarious, but probably didn't understand it."

"I used to feel like boy trapped in a woman's body But then I was born"

"Don't judge me because I like 80's music. Judge me because I had a late term abortion because a baby would ruin my holiday plans."