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Joke of the Day

"Knock, knock. Go fuck yourselves. - The straight-laced and frustrated FBI agent, played by Tom Hanks', joke in the movie Catch Me If You Can."

"I was arrested last week at the airport. Apparently, they don't like you calling 'shotgun' before boarding the plane."

"What do you call a yak that wants to talk to you about a network marketing opportunity? A cognac"

"What do you call a lizard with sex problems? Ereptile Dysfunction"

"A girl said she has seen me in a vegetarian meeting... I told her I have never met herbivore"

"What's long and hard and full of seamen? A submarine"

"Today, the doctor told me that the bottom of my heart has stopped functioning. My girlfriend will be disappointed; that's the part I loved her from."

"What do you call a gnome that muffs a fairy ? Goblin...."

"Have you heard the story about the loaf of bread? No. Oh crumbs."

"[date] HER: So do you like Star Wars? ME: Oh yeah HER: Who's your favorite character? ME: *nervously looking at smudged notes* Yoga"