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Joke of the Day

"Cable guy's here. I plan on yelling ""DON'T MAKE ME HIT YOU IN FRONT OF HIM!"" to my girlfriend before he leaves."

"According to NASA Size DOES matter."

"Periodic joke Do you have any Nitrogen Monoxide jokes? NO"

"So, I just heard about the 7.5 earthquake in New Zealand... Seems a lot of people are shaken up about it."

"Man's guide for a selfie: 1) Squint your eyes like your cool 2) Look off into the distance 3) Put your phone down 4) Don't take the selfie"

"On my tax form I checked the single box but added ""and looking""."

"If only 10 people were to stay alive in this world. what number of healthy males do you think is a good number? And how many females?"

"Pluto is not a planet He's a dyslexic god"

"an octopus is just a wet spider"

"A few years ago we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. Now we have no Jobs, no Cash and no Hope.. Please don't let Kevin Bacon die."