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Joke of the Day

"At first I wondered.. How on earth does Hillary Clinton sleep at night? Then I realised - First she *lies* on one side, then she *lies* on the other."

"Doing a suicide attack is... ...a once-in-a-lifetime experience."

"Me: Your generation sits around with their noses in their phones Niece: Your generation made the guys who wrote the Macarena rich Me: ..."

"Went out for drinks with my tinder date... She ordered the angel shot with lime :("

"I bought shoes from a second hand shop. They must've belonged to a junkie though because I've been tripping all day."

"How do five gay guys walk? In one direction."

"My dog reacts to the vacuum cleaner the same way I react when my wife says ""We need to talk""."

"How do you pay a quiz master? with finances."

"You know what really sucks? Sluts."

"Jokes That don't work written down There were 30 cows in a field, twenty ate sheep, how many didn't?"