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Joke of the Day
"If you cross your fingers after surgery you'll heal faster Or maybe that's just super stichin'"
Next Joke
"Remember, I'm always here if you need shoulders for your ankles to lie on."
"What do the Zika Virus and Catholic Priests have in common? They're both giving kids a little head all over Latin America."
"[shopping for make-up] ""Excuse me, what will make my eyes pop?"" ""I know exactly what you need."" [boots you into the vacuum of deep space]"
"Lincoln and Twilight opening the same weekend? Once again, Abe gets killed in a theater, and he's already fought vampires once this year."
"? Hey there Delilah, for your word spell Mississippi ""May I have the definition?"" The state siblings can get frisky ? and cousins toooo ?"
"What is it that is yours , but others use it more than you ? Your name"
"I bet jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter fish. *I'm not even high."
"*voluntarily spends hours on the internet daily* neato *friend sends 5-min video to watch* do i look like im made of free time or something"
"Why did the teacher have her hair in a bun? Because she had her nose in a hamburger."