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Joke of the Day

"Scientists have now changed the name of periodic table element 117, formerly known as ununseptium, to Chogenon. CHOGENON DEEZ NUTZ"

"*goes to bathroom *takes out phone *opens Twitter *finishes *pulls pants up *flushes *forgets to poop"

"Working at the aluminum can recycling center is the saddest job I've had. It's just soda pressing."

"What's a pirate's least favorite letter? **R** systems have detected a breach of copyright coming from your home address."

"I let Ellen drive the bus... Pao! Atlest she was able to digg our graves."

"Two peanuts are hanging out with the wrong crowd... One was assaulted!"

"The Panther's defense is so impenetrable... That Trump wants Mexico to pay their salary"

"What do Badgers and Gynecologists have in common? they both like to root around in your cellar"

"I'm texting hubs a grocery list one item at a time so he can experience his phone blowing up"

"Wanna piss a rhinoceros off? Hang his car keys on his nose."