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Joke of the Day

"So I was at Ikea the other day and bought a hot dog. The weird thing is, I had to put it together myself. And when I was finished, there were all these parts left over."

"""What does it mean when you see a flag flying at half-mast outside of a mostly white high school?"" They're hiring."

"Why did the dog roll down the hill? It didn?t have any legs."

"Six meaty inches of protein packed bliss! No joke, the actual description of the black forest ham sandwich from Subway for their October special."

"What doesn't kill you, tries again."

"How Many liberals does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, because they're so darn stupid!"

"What's the difference between my job and a dead hooker? My job still sucks"

"I'm gonna start carrying breath mints around in an engagement ring box just to briefly make women really uncomfortable during conversation."

"(My 99 y/o Jewish grandma told me this joke tonight and I have never heard it before) - ""Why was Abraham Lincoln Jewish?"" Because he was shot in the temple."

"Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out."