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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between my job and a dead hooker? My job still sucks"

"If your name is Brian and your home WiFi isn't called ""Bri-Fi"", what are you doing?"

"What would you get if you crossed a vampire with a dwarf? A creature that sucks blood from your knees."

"Customer spelling her name: Me: Is that V as in Victor or Z as in Zebra? Her: Z as in Xylophone. And this, kids, is why education is key."

"Hot shingles in your area are looking to give your dermatomes a painfully good time!"

"looking for roommate, utilities included. if you're taller than me, i get to ride your shoulders when we are in the same room. no exceptions"

"Did you hear the one about the streaker who ran naked through a church? The priest caught him by the organ"

"I was sitting in the traffic the other day That's why i got run over."

"My wife hates it when I say ""You are just like your mother!"" Actually, she hates it when I say *anything* during sex."

"A man walks into a bank... and yells ""this is a fuck up!"" confused, the teller says ""you mean a stick up?"" ""Nope, it's a fuck up, I forgot my gun"""