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Joke of the Day
"Why wasn't the cat moving? It was on paws"
Next Joke
"TIL Amedeo Avogadro died of skin cancer. He never got that nasty mol checked."
"Sometimes I think I've missed my calling. Luckly for me I have voicemail."
"I met a girl at a club the other night and she told me she'd show me a good time. When we got outside, she ran 100m in 9.69 seconds."
"I hate when I shape my hand like a phone to tell someone to call me, but they're in their 20s and don't know what phones used to look like."
"My sense of humor is a little crazy But the dragon rises into the potassium nitrate milkshake at sundown. It's a good day to be a helicopter."
"some tweets get big favs but no RTs. why? [camera pans to dog in lab coat high up on a distant ledge. we're too far away to hear his answer]"
"Who is that walking up my driveway?! Anxiety in 3...2...1... [knock, knock] *sigh* ""WAIT A SECOND!"" *mumbles* ""I need to find pants."""
"[turns to guy at next urinal] ""When the Little Mermaid became human how did she know how to use a toilet? BIG-TIME plot hole in my opinion"""
"How many redditors it takes to change a lightbulb? [OC] It only takes 1. But another 999 to repost this 100% original joke. I made this."