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Joke of the Day

"[turns to guy at next urinal] ""When the Little Mermaid became human how did she know how to use a toilet? BIG-TIME plot hole in my opinion"""

"What do you call a gorilla who magically smokes weed? Hairy Potter."

"I had a debate with myself about masturbation... ... On one hand it's feels good. And on the other it feels great!"

"What is that thing on top of a helicopter? A fan. The moment the thing is turned off, the people inside start sweating."

"I'm tired of people dissin Arabs like wtf they don't all make bombs..... They make slurpees too."

"News has just come in that The Mars Rover has discovered a member of the feline species while exploring. Unfortunately, Curiosity killed the cat. Edit: this is /u/Onetap1's joke, credit goes to him"

"Know any jokes about sodium? Na."

"[sees a dog about to get run over] Me [dives toward dog & rolls to safety]: that was close [sees a cat about to get run over] Me: car coming"

"I've recently taken up a class in French Self Defense... It's exhausting, I've never ran so far!"

"Sometimes, the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot."