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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I think I've missed my calling. Luckly for me I have voicemail."

"Do you have something against black people?!?!!? Yes, an alarm system."

"A fish swims into a wall Dam"

"I now feel I've watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I'll be able to successfully make it in prison."

"An old married couple wins 10 million dollars from the lottery. ""What shall we do with all these letters begging for money?"" the woman asks her husband. ""Keep sending them!"""

"No thanks CVS, I don't need a bag. I'll just wrap up my purchase in the 12 foot receipt you just gave me."

"Save yourself from a sexual harassment case. If a fellow employee asks, ""Do you know a place I can get Off?"". They may just need some bug spray."

"a golfer stabbed a Mexican the other day.... it was a hole in Juan"

"Ever hear the one about the welfare moocher who used his government payoffs to live on lobster and steak? It was Donald Trump."

"How does a secret agent have sex? He does it undercover!"