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Joke of the Day

"Who is that walking up my driveway?! Anxiety in 3...2...1... [knock, knock] *sigh* ""WAIT A SECOND!"" *mumbles* ""I need to find pants."""

"How does Voldemort seal his mail? With his Parceltongue. (...I'll see myself out)"

"What's a joke only redditor's would get?"

"According to math, I'm broke"

"What was a doctors diagnosis of the victims involved in a pet van crash? Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Chameleon"

"[Struts in lookin fly as heck in my speedo, shower cap and armfull of baby dolls struts out with new understanding of the term baby shower]"

"I told her it's been a while. She told me that was fine. It's just like riding a bike. Now she's mad I checked her for proper inflation"

"What kind of tree would Hanna Montana be? A 'Miley Cyprus'. Dear god, shoot me."

"How Does a Racist Joke Start? With a small million dollar loan from his father."

"Why isn't there a Jared's for boys? Oh wait, there is."