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Joke of the Day

"I get Bi with a little help from my friends."

"911: whats your emergency Me: Come quick, my son has swallowed a condom*Click 911: whats your emergency Me: It's ok, found another one."

"Have you guys tried McDonald's new Premium McWrap? So much better than the Budget McWrap, which is a dead mouse in a cabbage leaf."

"I save so much money by not having any money."

"I'm putting together an acting troupe of dogs. It's called..........................................................................*Dramatic Paws*."

"These need to be written. Q: What do you call a pig with three eyes? A: A piiig. Q: What goes Oh, Oh, Oh? A: Santa Claus walking backwards."

"Security is going to be heightened at all showings of Star Wars.......... out of the fear of all apple geniuses and IT technicians being simultaneously taken out."

"Deck the halls. Kick the windows. Strike the doors. Pummel the chandeliers. Clog the toilets. You will defeat this house."

"My buddy says he is the world's worst at self-deprecating humor. he worried once he was too modest. Then realized he was wrong."

"Winning the Lottery by Jack Potts"