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Joke of the Day

"Have you guys tried McDonald's new Premium McWrap? So much better than the Budget McWrap, which is a dead mouse in a cabbage leaf."

"How do you know you're kissing a french horn player? They try to stick their hand up your butt."

"[parole hearing] OFFICER: are u reformed? ME: I O: go on M: I th O: tell us M: I'm O: yes M: can I finish my sentence O: ok parole denied"

"I was so poor as a kid, we only had Onepac Shakur."

"WHAT DO WE WANT? no more interruptions! WHEN D now!"

"Accidentally used 13's shower gel, so I just copped a huge attitude, yelled at everyone and slammed some doors."

"%3. Ask Questions. 4. Use the face."

"Michael J. Fox He's really just trying to master The Force."

"I'm not fat Just short for my weight"

"I'm so out of shape, I can't even run away from my insecurities."