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Joke of the Day

"[religion] Why did Jesus die on the cross? he forgot the safe word"

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"What are some outstanding hamburger colleges? Brandeis Cowlifornia State Hoofstra Pen State Ranchelaer Polytechnic Burgereley and Moosouri!"
"I hate waiting in lines. At prom I was overjoyed because there was no punch line."
"I'm often accused of being condescending. That means I talk down to people."
"Nothing brings a family closer at graduation than a flask."
"Why don't people give Melania Trump a break... Life is hard enough growing up as a black woman in the USA."
"[obama cures cancer, invents hoverboards, saves baby by killing 3 lions with a flurry of devastating headbutts] Americans: LION KILLER OMG"
"*sees a guy snap fingers at a server. I reach for my bag* Wife: No. We only have one left. We have a baby. Me: (to genie) take his fingers"
"What do you call a transvestite in Spanish? HERmano"
"Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? Neither have they."