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Joke of the Day

"When I'm having a shitty day sometimes I go to WalMart and just smile and show off my teeth."

"This guy goes to the Olympics and sees a guy carrying a long pole. He asks - Are you a pole vaulter? Guy replies - No I'm German, and my name is Hans."

"Hilary clinton joke Friend:What are you going to the party as Me:Hilary Friend:why Me:Aren't you supposed to be something scary Friend: ;-;"

"A grasshopper walks into a bar The bartender immediately says, ""Hey! We got a drink named after you!"" The grasshopper looks at him quizzically and says, ""You've got a drink named Leonard?"""

"Did you ever think that one day you would be this addicted to reading and writing?"

"What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws while the other is a pause at the end of a clause."

"Zeroing a scale is a tare-able decision . . . I'm sorry"

"Interesting fact about myself: (1) my penis is not as long as a footlong sub (2) I'm banned from Subway"

"Looking at cows in a field, how can you tell which one's on holiday? It's the one with the wee calf. (Think Scottish)"

"El chiste! Did you hear about the Mexican serial killer? He had Loco motives."