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Joke of the Day

"Looking at cows in a field, how can you tell which one's on holiday? It's the one with the wee calf. (Think Scottish)"

"How Many Bit Coins Does it take to screw in a Lightbulb? 00000000000001adf44c7d69767585--5572eca4dd4-db7d0c0b845-916d849af76 PM me the answer!"

"Even in a suit, Matthew McConaughey looks like he's just been rescued after two weeks lost in the desert."

"So I was talking to my 13 year old friend online.... And out of nowhere she told me she was an FBI agent. How cool is that?!"

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day Teach him to fish and you get rid of him during weekends."

"What do you call a retard covered in water? Flame retardant"

"When my friends are sad, i send them a long ass paragraph, but when I'm sad, they only say ""Oh sorry"" or ""Well that sucks""."

"Do you need help transporting a lot of animals overseas? Because I Noah guy"

"Identity theft is the most diabolical way someone can compliment you on doing a good job at life."

"So in The Matrix they feed you the liquified remains of the dead through a tube but you get to sleep and be online all day? I'm listening."