92758

Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws while the other is a pause at the end of a clause."

Next Joke
 
"Age 20: ""You free for lunch?"" ""Yeah, meet you there now."" Age 30: ""You free for lunch?"" ""Yes, let's schedule it in for 3 weeks from now."""
"I call my penis Oscar Pistorius. It only goes inside for a disappointingly short period of time."
"I've been eating sunflower seeds and Tweeting for 9 hours. Now I know what my canary feels like."
"A Teacher asked for the chemical formula for water Teacher: Alright so what is the chemical formula for water? Me: HIJKLMNO Teacher: What are you even saying?! Me: You told us it was H to O!"
"If We Elect Donald Trump President."
"Clinton fan: Emails? That's all you've got? Me: She sold the Saudis the jets that are massacring Yemenis Clinton fan: Emails? That's all you"
"Which dinosaur walks with a limp? a Myfeetasaur"
"People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible."
"What do you put in a www.ashing machine? Net curtains!"