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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size? A: Silicone chips."

"Ever wonder how the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow?"

"A police officer just knocked on my door... and told me my dogs were chasing people on bikes. Pfft, my dogs don't even own bikes, idiot."

"Trying to think of something fun to do with the kids so I can Instagram it & look like a great dad."

"A programmer goes to do groceries. His wife tell him: -- Buy a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, buy a dozen. He comes back with thirteen loaves of bread. -- But why?, she asks. -- They had eggs."

"Somewhere, some Nigerian lawyer is wondering why you're not sending him the personal information that he needs to give you your inheritance"

"My friend was cold so i told her to stand in a corner. Corners are 90 degrees."

"Not many people knew that Albert Einstein had a brother who was an evil scientist. His name was Frank Einstein"

"I don't usually sleep enough, but when I do, its still not enough."

"Some people ask me why I never hold a grudge. I've always hated those people."