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Joke of the Day

"Trying to think of something fun to do with the kids so I can Instagram it & look like a great dad."

"What's a drug addict's favorite music genre? Crack rock"

"MIL: You're going to give me a heart attack someday! M: Last time I checked you didn't even have a heart."

"I like my coffee like I like my women Without pubic hair."

"Whoever said Obama never created any jobs... Obviously has never heard of Isis"

"If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?"

"My thai girlfriend told me a small penis doesn't matter... ...I still wish she didn't have one though"

"The worst straw man argument in history was when Sir Mix-a-Lot pretended that some guys hate butts."

"I've been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now, I think I'll start calling them traditions."

"What do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole? Hot cross bunnies."