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Joke of the Day

"Court Comedy In a courtroom, where tensions are high... Judge: Order! Order in the court! Plaintiff: I'll take a ham on rye."

"Man died after crushing against a mirror Witnesses said: ""he saw it coming"""

"Roommate: hey blake I just bought this whiskey wanna explain why it's half empty? Me: cause you're a pessimist!"

"""Dad!"" my shit says, right before I flush it."

"How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Hand the bitch a shovel"

"What kind of haircut does the black judge have? Jury Curls"

"89% of being a parent is telling my kids to put on shoes before we leave the house and then getting in the car wearing my slippers."

"You say you want to bring me back to reality. You're assuming I've been there before."

"You think you got problems I just mixed a box of regular spaghetti with a box of thin spaghetti Supper is ruined I tell you"

"Me: Can you believe that after all that crap they're still together!?! Friend: Who ? Me: My butt-cheeks"