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Joke of the Day

"The fish never seem to bite when I go fishing. I guess I just don't have the right allure."

"I got a new spoiler on my car. Just a long sticker that says ""Bruce Willis was a ghost the whole time!"""

"Shout out to my loving wife, who has made me everything I am today... Fucking miserable"

"Did you hear about that guy going around stealing everybody's Flamin' Hot Cheetos? He was caught red-handed! ...I'll see myself to the door."

"Today I am choosing to stay positive and kind to anyone I encounter today, except vampires."

"What type of animal browses Reddit? Karma-vore"

"It turns out the town drunk is an exorcist. Since his last visit, there are no more spirits in the liquor store."

"How are relationships like algebra? You look at your X and try to find out Y"

"Gay guys don't listen to girls talk either, but we do have the good sense to say ""I know, right?!"" while we wait for our turn to talk."

"Did you take a shower today? Why, is one missing?"