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Joke of the Day

"It turns out the town drunk is an exorcist. Since his last visit, there are no more spirits in the liquor store."

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"how wide is the universe? how long is a piece of string theory"
"What is the definition of a good farmer? A man outstanding in his field."
"Oh man almost forgot the trash *takes trash out, a nice little sushi place* This is great *sees wife there with the recycling* WHAT THE HELL"
"Tommy Cooper gag A classic Tommy Cooper gag ''I said to the Gym instructor ""Can you teach me to do the splits?'' He said, ''How flexible are you?'' I said, ''I can't make Tuesdays'', was fifth."
"Old people talk into cell phones like they hit the Caps Lock key on their voice."
"Every single person on a reality TV series is the kind of person you don't want to sit next to in a restaurant."
"Right now, somewhere in China, someone is wokking their dog"
"What do Caitlin Jenner and the Carolina Panthers have in common? Manning was just a bit too much for them."
"""Is this a card?"" -the vague street magician"
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