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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a female dog with a pH over 7? A basic bitch."

"What do you call an egocentric strain of bacteria found in a Chipotle burrito? ME-coli"

"The only problem with teaching little kids to share is that sometimes they want some of my stuff"

"What is similar between Sharks and Humans? The Great ones are always white."

"What type of pants does Mario wear? denim denim denim"

"Guys love it when you rest your head on their shoulder at the movie theatre. Their girlfriends however... not so much."

"Bill: Where did you get that gold watch Joe? Joe: I won it in a race. Bill: How many people participated in it? Joe: Three a policeman the owner of the watch and me!!"

"I remember when I was a virgin I thought I'd remember every single time I got laid Since I've been married though I can't remember the last time I've had sex"

"What does having sex with a hooker and bungee jumping have in common? If the rubber brakes, you're screwed."

"My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside."