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Joke of the Day

"What is similar between Sharks and Humans? The Great ones are always white."

"Why was the blond late on her first day of work? Because she stopped taking the pill about a month earlier."

"Listen up: I wear the pants in this family. They're a lovely taffeta with a subtle flare to draw attention to my lace-up sandals."

"Group therapy One psychologist asked another psychologist how his agoraphobia group therapy sessions are going. ""Not so good."" ""Why?"" ""No one ever shows up."""

"I tink Therefore I am Irish."

"What are the first words Jared Fogle's girlfriend said to him? ""Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies, sir?"""

"I'm wearing a shower curtain over my head and pretending to be a ghost. I probably look legit because everybody on this bus is avoiding me."

"Hubs proposed to me with a really cool flash mob and a medley of Nirvana hits. JK. He was like, ""I wanna marry you."" And I was like, ""K."""

"Why couldn't the chameleon change colors? It had reptile dysfunction."

"Had a dream some of my friends were mooning me, woke up at the crack of Don."