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Joke of the Day

"I took a ""Paint with Wine"" class. The instructor was really impressed with how well I handled my wine."

"If I had a rooster, and you had a donkey, and your donkey ate my rooster's feet, what would we have? Two feet of my cock in your ass."

"Why do people in Afghanistan air dry after they shower? Because of the towel ban"

"This Halloween I'm going to dress up like Bernie Sanders... and go around the bar drinking 90% of everyone elses beer..."

"The groundhog in our town died on Sunday. I can't imagine how long our winter will be now."

"Now that ""twerking"" is in the Oxford dictionary, we probably can go back to grunting and hitting things to communicate."

"What's the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job will still suck."

"Rain drop drop top.... 1k upvotes and i'll sub to /r/clopclop"

"What do they call Chipotle in Canada? Chipotl-eh"

"What happens when a woman can't remember her mastectomy? Mammary loss &nbsp; I made this up myself!"