72017

Joke of the Day

"This Halloween I'm going to dress up like Bernie Sanders... and go around the bar drinking 90% of everyone elses beer..."

"The year is 2200. All fossil fuels are depleted. Our only source for coal is Santa Claus. Everyone must be naughty for the sake of mankind."

"Oh, hey guys how were the bars tonight? That's cool. In case you were wondering all of the Harry Potter movies are still really good."

"Where does the Persian air force keep its aircraft? The Carpet store"

"What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot."

"What's long and green and has an asshole at each end? A St. Patrick's Day parade!"

"There are no bad pictures; that's just how your face looks sometimes."

"What do you call a fish out of water? Asians? Idk it's been a rough day."

"I will NEVER make the same mistake twice ... In a row. They're in rotation."

"Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One deer turns to the other and says ""Man, I cant believe i blew 30 bucks in there"""