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Joke of the Day

"What do they call Chipotle in Canada? Chipotl-eh"

"Marine biologists were baffled by why Jaws would always swim away after chomping off swimmers' legs. Turns out he's lack toes intolerant."

"New Zealand cricket"

"Apparently there's enough room in my mouth to put more than one foot."

"Hey pregnant ladies, all of your 3D ultrasounds look like Voldemort in a garbage bag."

"don't feel too bad for people with chronic amnesia. they can watch Breaking Bad for the first time over and over."

"What did Yoda say to Luke when he was constipated? Try or try not, there is no do."

"Wait, so when couples are in custody battles it's to KEEP the kids? #WTF"

"I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on the tube and think, 'I'll fucking have that!'"

"What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Their last big hit was the wall... :)"