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Joke of the Day

"Now that ""twerking"" is in the Oxford dictionary, we probably can go back to grunting and hitting things to communicate."

"My ear is bleeding because I tried to shave it. Now I have to create some elaborate lie to tell ppl how I cut my ear."

"GOD: Done! Every animal niche perfectly filled WOODPECKERS: We didn't get anything GOD: Oh. Uh...just pound trees with your face"

"They say ""confidence"" is the most attractive quality in a partner. But I'd have to say ""not banging my friends"" would be a very close 2nd"

"A duck goes into a drug store He says gimee some chap stick put it on my bill"

"Jack and Jill went up a hill each with a buck and a quarter.. Jill came down with two fifty.. That fucking whore. ( The Dice Man )"

"X-post from /r/christianity t"

"My best friend ran away with my wife.... I miss him."

"Never have sex at an Olive Garden. Because when you're there, you're family."

"How do you circumcise Luke Skywalker? Kick Princess Leia in the jaw."