80728

Joke of the Day

"She hated my mixed-tape back in high school. Last month she gave birth to her ninth baby. Thanks for saving my life, Depeche Mode!"

"What do you call a psychic midget on the run from the law? A small medium at large."

"Why did hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill."

"Q: Why did the boy take a ruler to bed with him? A: To see how long he slept."

"Why do people become bakers? Because they knead the dough. (Kneading hand motions required during recital.)"

"Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now known as The Islands."

"WARNING: This film MAY contain nudity. Either it does or it doesn't, don't waste my time."

"Everyone done keeping calm yet?"

"My doctor told me to start killing people. Well, not in those exact words. He said I had to reduce the stress in my life. Same thing!"

"hey pregnant lady slowly crossing the street on a green light it's a baby not a forcefield"