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Joke of the Day

"My parent's kitchen was designed with 11 light switches, all of which turn on the garbage disposal if you're trying to be quiet"

"Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common? A: They've both swallowed a lot of semen."

"A blind man walks into a bar, And a table. And a chair."

"Two blondes are waiting for a bus. The first one is waiting for the 2nd route bus, the other - for the 3rd. They both board the route 23 bus when it arrives."

"Two thieves were caught with a load of stolen batteries and fireworks... ...one of them was charged, and the other was let off."

"I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet... I don't know Y."

"*stood on Eiffel tower watching a beautiful sunset* Sara? *Gets down on one knee* *audible gasp* ""Yes?"" Help my knee is made of magnets"

"The accountant's prayer: Lord help me be more relaxed about insignificant details starting tomorrow at 10.53:16 am Eastern Daylight Saving Time."

"TIFU by accidentally playing music off of my neighbors speakers. Whoops, wrong sub."

"What is a grape without 'g'? It's still a grape, just without gravity."