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Joke of the Day

"A blind man walks into a bar, And a table. And a chair."

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"Why don't casinos in Las Vegas hire girls from California? Because they, like, can't even deal."
"TIFU when I went to Subways... Whoops wrong sub. Oh wait. This has been done before, hasn't it? You probably Reddit already."
"I need a career involving less interaction and more pizza. I've narrowed it down to: Pizza Farmer Pizza Hunter Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle"
"Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one."
"Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She grew out of her b-shells."
"Met a prostitute that will do anything for 100 $ Guess who's writing my take home exam ^^"
"Ever hear of the Infinite Monkey Theorem? It goes something like if an infinite number of Redditors typed away on keyboards, one of them will eventually type a complete day of work."
"INTERVIEWER: What are your strengths? APPLICANT: I'm a detail-oriented team player [nothing wacky happens because this is a job interview]"
"If you had a gun and you were being chased by a bull and a mountain lion which one would you shoot first? The mountain lion. You can always shoot the bull!"